we all make mistakes...

As a young, teenage, single, soldier away from my family for the first time, I am learning real quick how much I have to trust in God. Outside of the comforts of home, the Christian University I attended, and my Christian friends I have had to learn the hard way that not everybody who claims to be a “friend” has good intentions. When you are constantly surrounded by Christians who are there to talk to you, pray for you, and fellowship with you, they are also there for accountability and to talk you out of stupid decisions. You begin to form a trustful way of thinking, giving everybody the benefit of a doubt because you don’t know their story. You begin to trust nice people and think that their intentions are the same as yours. Growing up you hear stories about things that happen but we all know you don’t learn from stories passed down the rumor tree. We learn either the hard way ourselves or via friends and family member’s experiences. Right now my invincible, teenage, hormonal brain tells me I can do anything. I am a warrior, an American soldier, raised my right hand to protect what I grew up watching my dad, my neighbors, and family members defend. I tend to think that if I can do that I can do anything, right? Wrong! Without God Iam nothing. No matter how big I think I am God always interrupts my invincible ways and thinking to show me I'm not; He graciously knocks me down and humbles my stubborn butt. And you know as well as I do that this is not a one time occurrence.  How many times did I wet myself before I was finally potty trained? How many bones did I break before I learned to properly fall? How many times did I hold a last minute cram session before I changed my study habits? We make the same mistakes over and over and over…. And over before we learn our lesson. A wise woman, my mom, once told me that these mistakes don’t always present themselves in the same way, but always end with the same results. When the ER technicians know you by name it is probably time to make some change. One of the things I have come to learn is to trust my instincts. So many people will argue with you over this, tell you that logic is the answer. This is somewhat true. Knowing how history repeats itself does provide some insight, but ultimately when you are in that moment of uncertainty logic is not your first thought. Its your instincts that kick in and tell you to go home. You can try to justify anything logically, but your instincts are going to tell you how you really feel. I’ve come to think of my instincts as divine intervention, God telling me to stop and turn around. Following my instincts have labeled me as a party pooper and lame, but I still have my dignity, integrity and faith. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice any of these to have fun and hang with your “friends”, and if you do, they are NOT your friends. I know, Easier said than done. We all want to be accepted and will fall into this trap at one point. I have fallen into it quite a few times but thankfully it has never resulted in losing my dignity, integrity, or faith. It may have come close and I may have had to go through a period of uncertainty, where I felt uncomfortable and people were upset with me, but setting things straight was the only way to fix my mistake honorably. I have dealt with the consequences and told myself I would never do that again… yea good joke right? We all know how that works. At this point in my walk with Christ I have come to realize that this is where arming myself with the word of God comes in. I can try to get myself out of a situation logically. Try to size up my surroundings, base the situation off of what I know, justify what could happen with the idea that nothing will happen because I am invincible and nothing has happened before. Or I could base my decisions off of the word, thousands of years of wisdom and an Almighty God. Personally the odds of the latter sound better to me. As I write this, I know it is easier said than done. My hormonal brain is still telling me I am invincible. But I am a work in progress and if I let God continue to mold me into what he created me to be, then I can conquer this worldly view I have that I can do anything and realize I am nothing without Christ. My ultimate goal is to be and act more like Christ, an ongoing goal that I will always have to strive for because I am human and a sinner and can never fully 100% be Christ like. However, God’s grace covered that the day I raised my white flag and gave my life to Christ. I am still going to make mistakes, its inevitable. Although learning a lesson through Christ may not be easier, it will definitely be better knowing a loving God who knows the outcome is there to guide me through it. I’m told that wisdom comes with age, but I believe that sets us up for failure. We think we wont make mistakes when we get older, and when we do get older and mistakes are made we blame other people. We think we know better so we ask God why, we get angry and we don’t understand. Punishments are no longer spankings and groundings, but involve monetary fines and permanent records. We need to understand that everybody of all ages make mistakes, we are all sinners and we need to be there for each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, and get through it together. We are a body and we need every member to keep it moving. If one goes down we all go down, so we need to work together and show the world the light of Christ, rebounding from one mistake at a time. If we can show the world that we love each other, looking past mistakes and into the rebound, just maybe people will begin understand the love of Christ.