its ok to be different because being different is being me

Recently it has become evident to me more than ever, the stereotypes our society tells us women to be. Growing up my parents raised me to respect my body and encouraged me to be confident and comfortable with whom God made me to be. They raised me to be conservative in my clothing and to respect my elders and teachers. They raised me to respect others who didn’t share my beliefs. I didn’t have to tolerate or accept their beliefs, but that I should love them as Jesus would love them and respect the fact that they are a person that they have feelings too. They taught me to stand up for what is right and for those who are treated unfairly, or picked on, even though it would probably be hard. My parents taught me that dating isn’t just to have fun, but to look for a future spouse. Someone to love and grow in Christ with, someone who would be there to help me further my walk in Christ. They raised me not to curse or talk provocatively, and to stand up for my beliefs. My parents raised me not to smoke, underage drink, do drugs, or have sex before marriage.They told me not to watch rated R movies without their permission.

Many of my friends growing up told me I was boring, called me a loser, and even tried to convince me it was ok to do these things because teenagers are supposed to be rebellious. But to me it was more than just obeying my parents. The Bible says to honor thy father and thy mother (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:2). Doing what my parents asked of me and respecting what they told me not to do, was an honor, to my parents and God. To say no to that “friend” who offered me drugs and alcohol, or that boy who wanted to be more than good friends, made me different, and showed people I was different. I don’t have to conform to society to be happy.  I have an amazing family, parents who love and support me, a brother and sister who are my best friends, and a God who is ALWAYS there for me. I have friends who accept me and share my faith and beliefs, and friends who accept me and respect my faith and beliefs.

 I have never had sex, done any drugs, or drank alcohol. I have never shown more of my body than what a one-piece bathing suit covers (I generally wear a rash guard and board shorts over it anyway) and the only time I’ve worn makeup is to my junior and senior prom. I have never kissed a guy nor have I been kissed. But don’t get me wrong, I am by far nowhere near perfect. I have my flaws and I am guilty of my fair share of sinning every day. I have my rough patches where taking the hard right over the easy wrong has caused me heartache and even sometimes left me wondering if it was worth it. But in the end it most definitely is. Not being that “normal” girl society wants me to be is quite fun, and leaves me with less feelings of regret. However I do have regrets, there are some things I do wish I could go back and change, but the decisions I have made have only made me stronger in the end, and have strengthened my relationship with Christ.  I am not your average girl. I’m not superskinny, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t wear the hottest clothes, and I’ve never been kissed. I am proud to be a virgin and to wait until I’m married, and I am proud to be a child of God. I don’t have to continue to abide by my parents rules anymore. I am 19 years old, I have moved out, and I have a full time job. But my parents didn’t just make those rules up, they set those standards because that is what the Bible says how we should live; it is what God says we should be. My parents are nowhere near perfect and neither am I, but that is the amazing part about being a Christian. You don’t have to be perfect, you can’t be perfect. My crooked teeth, average body, and odd sense of humor make me, me,and sets me apart from who society says I should be. I am not beautiful for my body, face, or hair. I am beautiful for who I am on the inside, a child of God, and probably happier and more satisfied than I could ever be otherwise. I am different, I am me, I am a daughter of the one true king.

we all make mistakes...

As a young, teenage, single, soldier away from my family for the first time, I am learning real quick how much I have to trust in God. Outside of the comforts of home, the Christian University I attended, and my Christian friends I have had to learn the hard way that not everybody who claims to be a “friend” has good intentions. When you are constantly surrounded by Christians who are there to talk to you, pray for you, and fellowship with you, they are also there for accountability and to talk you out of stupid decisions. You begin to form a trustful way of thinking, giving everybody the benefit of a doubt because you don’t know their story. You begin to trust nice people and think that their intentions are the same as yours. Growing up you hear stories about things that happen but we all know you don’t learn from stories passed down the rumor tree. We learn either the hard way ourselves or via friends and family member’s experiences. Right now my invincible, teenage, hormonal brain tells me I can do anything. I am a warrior, an American soldier, raised my right hand to protect what I grew up watching my dad, my neighbors, and family members defend. I tend to think that if I can do that I can do anything, right? Wrong! Without God Iam nothing. No matter how big I think I am God always interrupts my invincible ways and thinking to show me I'm not; He graciously knocks me down and humbles my stubborn butt. And you know as well as I do that this is not a one time occurrence.  How many times did I wet myself before I was finally potty trained? How many bones did I break before I learned to properly fall? How many times did I hold a last minute cram session before I changed my study habits? We make the same mistakes over and over and over…. And over before we learn our lesson. A wise woman, my mom, once told me that these mistakes don’t always present themselves in the same way, but always end with the same results. When the ER technicians know you by name it is probably time to make some change. One of the things I have come to learn is to trust my instincts. So many people will argue with you over this, tell you that logic is the answer. This is somewhat true. Knowing how history repeats itself does provide some insight, but ultimately when you are in that moment of uncertainty logic is not your first thought. Its your instincts that kick in and tell you to go home. You can try to justify anything logically, but your instincts are going to tell you how you really feel. I’ve come to think of my instincts as divine intervention, God telling me to stop and turn around. Following my instincts have labeled me as a party pooper and lame, but I still have my dignity, integrity and faith. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice any of these to have fun and hang with your “friends”, and if you do, they are NOT your friends. I know, Easier said than done. We all want to be accepted and will fall into this trap at one point. I have fallen into it quite a few times but thankfully it has never resulted in losing my dignity, integrity, or faith. It may have come close and I may have had to go through a period of uncertainty, where I felt uncomfortable and people were upset with me, but setting things straight was the only way to fix my mistake honorably. I have dealt with the consequences and told myself I would never do that again… yea good joke right? We all know how that works. At this point in my walk with Christ I have come to realize that this is where arming myself with the word of God comes in. I can try to get myself out of a situation logically. Try to size up my surroundings, base the situation off of what I know, justify what could happen with the idea that nothing will happen because I am invincible and nothing has happened before. Or I could base my decisions off of the word, thousands of years of wisdom and an Almighty God. Personally the odds of the latter sound better to me. As I write this, I know it is easier said than done. My hormonal brain is still telling me I am invincible. But I am a work in progress and if I let God continue to mold me into what he created me to be, then I can conquer this worldly view I have that I can do anything and realize I am nothing without Christ. My ultimate goal is to be and act more like Christ, an ongoing goal that I will always have to strive for because I am human and a sinner and can never fully 100% be Christ like. However, God’s grace covered that the day I raised my white flag and gave my life to Christ. I am still going to make mistakes, its inevitable. Although learning a lesson through Christ may not be easier, it will definitely be better knowing a loving God who knows the outcome is there to guide me through it. I’m told that wisdom comes with age, but I believe that sets us up for failure. We think we wont make mistakes when we get older, and when we do get older and mistakes are made we blame other people. We think we know better so we ask God why, we get angry and we don’t understand. Punishments are no longer spankings and groundings, but involve monetary fines and permanent records. We need to understand that everybody of all ages make mistakes, we are all sinners and we need to be there for each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, and get through it together. We are a body and we need every member to keep it moving. If one goes down we all go down, so we need to work together and show the world the light of Christ, rebounding from one mistake at a time. If we can show the world that we love each other, looking past mistakes and into the rebound, just maybe people will begin understand the love of Christ.